Voice of Self Compassion

Compassion for self will lead to a life of well-being.

I believe nurturing self-compassion is what provides a meaningful joy filled life. Every time I verbalize a desire or a want, I have received the opposite. I wished for wealth and lived paycheck to paycheck. I wanted to be patient and was given a child with cholic (crying all of the time). Through navigating the opposite of my desire, I developed the skill to achieve what I wanted. The process helped me develop self-compassion.

I learned to be frugal and discovered my own creativity to achieve my goals of having abundance. I found I had the capacity to achieve many things on meager resources. My wealth resides in my ability to help others see their own creative beauty. Happiness and sense of accomplishment are not defined by getting what I want.

My son was born a finicky eater and barely slept. He woke easily after hours of working to get him to sleep. I have never known such exhaustion and once or twice I left him in the crib crying. I eventually learned that life does not show up on my terms – I can fight this reality and be frustrated, or I can choose to accept reality and find serenity. Patience is found in the accepting of reality – change what I can, me. Let all else go.

Responsibilities when handled with grace earn the respect of others, but having too many responsibilities can also breed resentments. I often found that the language I use toward an activity shows me the health of my mindset and I can choose to change my mindset through changing my words. I notice when presented with a task that I mentally say, “I have to” … but when I change that language to “I choose to” then my attitude toward the task shifts. Often people will tell me that they do not have a choice because they do not like the consequence that failure brings. Consequence does not negate choice; it is the motivator of action. Every activity I engage in in life is my choice.

Ask yourself…

What are the tasks that you procrastinate and what are your inner thoughts that repeat regarding that task?

Can you reframe your inner thoughts so that you can see your choice?

The Professor

Tom Szigethy